whelm – (h)welm –
verb [with object]
engulf, submerge, or bury (someone or something): a swimmer whelmed in a raging storm
How important is that feeling of Panic to moving forward? I could argue that that feeling (it feels like restless emptiness to me) is a sign that something is clearly amiss. A clear flag that action is needed. I Recently reread most of the Do-It-Yourself Gude to Fighting the Big Motherfucking Sad, by Adam Gnade. In his intro, he says “We’re all braver and stronger than we give ourselves credit for. Some days can be a goddamn bear but some are good and right and sweet. So, hello, my name is Adam Gnade and here are some pep-talks I’ve given myself lately. I hope you get something good from them…”
Some days can be a goddamn bear. That panic…So here’s the thing. Often, we’re presented with situations that trigger the fight or flight response. But in the modern world we have no actual bears to eat us. Just shitty days. the flight response, I struggle with the desire to let myself spiral down into crushing self doubt. With no actual bear to run from, our little brains feel like its maybe perfectly reasonable to draw inward and hope for the best.
Here’s a line that I love though from the book. “Set Your expectations high but be ready to work. Be ready to fight like a wild animal.” I thrive on pushing the envelope. Digging myself out of holes, moving forward and building. Things, relationships and communities. Maintenance and energy are the challenges here, but the work fills that restless void. That’s where the hope is.
Sorry for the melancholy beginning to this post. Thanksgiving was odd, because it was my first one spent in a different place than my kids. So much of it was simply amazing though. I spent the day with some of my very favorite people in the world. I love being a part of something so big and warm and inviting as this family of friends that I’ve been welcomed into over the past few years. There are new stories being written, and I’m so excited to be a part of it.
I hope all your thanksgivings were amazing and that you know how thankful I am for you all.
Until next week. Take care and be good.
Your friend,
Jeffrey