Hahaha, That Face!

The juniors did a demo at the Arch Rival Half Time Bout this weekend. It’s really hard to think of something that can include all the skill levels of skaters we have, look impressive, and last under eight minutes. What we decided on was a race that showcased the skills that each level is working on. It was so much fun, and the crowd loved it…apparently I do a little hopping dance when I get excited. 

Speaking of excited, Olive was gifted a ton of new Pokemon cards and…hahahahahaha. I laughed so hard at this face she made when I took a picture of her organizing them. 

Other stories include, Monopoly night (we lost) playdoh monsters, waiting for the bus, homemade pizza, and shooting the duck. Oh yeah, and The Stories We Tell Ourselves is going to be in a show next month! Super excited about that! 🙂

The Stories We Tell Ourselves

I finished the Stories We Tell Ourselves series and I felt so…something. Not sad or empty or happy. But something. It was weird. Scanning it felt so final.

25 – My friend believes in love, but isn’t always sure that he’s lovable.

Oof. That was a hard one to get out. I know I’m lovable. Just doing this little, simple project and the way that people…strangers, even- reach out from a place of caring to offer their encouragment has shown me that over and over again. 

I know intellectually that I’m loved.
emotionally it’s a little harder to rein in.

26 – My human. He tries to not engage…to take the high road.

I’ve never really thought of myself as a fighter. Definitely not a yeller. It’s something I’ve always guarded against. Yet somehow I find my self engaging in this escalating conversation night after night. It makes me worried that I’m going to lose that part of myself that’s compassionate and level headed. That even cares whether or not I’m hurting someone. 

This is not my core though. I try to think of people like nesting dolls with layers…myself included. This layer has been closer to the surface a lot of late, and it’s time to recognize that, name it, and let it rest for a bit. It’s good to know that layer is in there, and that I can take agency for myself when I need to, but there’s a difference between taking control and losing it.

27 – This is my dad. Maybe usually means yes.

I laughed so hard when my daughter, all of eight-years-old told me this. And then realizing it was true. A maybe for me usually comes from a place of not really wanting to do something…but not really seeing a reason not to either. And my tolerance for foolishness is pretty high, so we usually do it. hahahaha. 

What’s cool, is they also usually remember that asking me repeatedly after a maybe, trying to rush things will turn that maybe into a no pretty quickly. 

28 – This is my dad, sometimes he sort of hibernates and reads, and dreams and grows. 

We all go through periods of needing rest. This time of year I spend a lot more time curled up in a cuddle puddle of kids, watching YouTube, reading and playing nintendo. And the time taken off helps my ability to get work done when I’m at work.

Work is work.

Play is play. 

Sometimes it’s hard to seperate the two. We don’t want to wast the time that resting takes.

29 – This is my best friend. I worry about him.

It’s good to know that there are people out there who always have your back. I feel more than a little blessed to have an amazing couple of friends who check up on me, and who not only think about me but would drop anything to help if they can. 

That’s just who we are in our cores. But we’re also worriers. We want the best for the people who matter most to us. 

30 – This is my best friend and I see him grow

I read somewhere recently about best friends being the people who you feel the most like yourself with and who you are your best self with. 

31 –  This is my best friend. He’s going to make it through the year.

I don’t think I realized how hard it was going to be to talk about these last few without really getting into the details of a story that I’m not sure that I’m ever going to be able to talk about confidently. I am going to make it through though. I have an amazing support group. I’m making regular, steady forward motion, I’m mostly taking care of myself (in spite of staying up much too late several nights a week.) Through it is where relief is, not stopping in the middle or going back. Through. 

Thank you all for your friendship and support. I appreciate you all. Until next time, take care and be good.
Your friend,

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